While I feverishly jerked off, they would hold a large hunting knife to my banded ball bag which, in the fantasy, always heightened my pleasures. I would ask them to allow me to cum one last time before they nutted me and they would consent, but with the stipulation being that I had to jerk off myself in front of them and then when I was ready to cum, I had to say “okay,” so that I was agreeing to my emasculation and that they they could claim that I had asked for it. They would lure me into their van, have me bend over a bench, drop my pants and underwear, band my balls and ask me if I had any final wishes before I lost them. Over time, however, I began to harbor fantasies of being castrated by these two. Not knowing what that was, I went home and looked it up. When he realized that I was attracted to his fiancé, he teasingly asked me, “Would you like to be castrated?” In high school I fell in “lust” with a gorgeous Mulatto girl who happened to be engaged to a college student a few years older than me. This story is fiction laced with reality and the two intertwine and overlap! In reality, I would not really like to lose my balls just fantasize about it. I asked: "Will you be tying me up?" ("Like in Basic Instinct?" I wanted to say, but played it cool.I can trace my obsession with castration to when I was a teenager.
I could come by tomorrow and show you what I do. But we ended up having sex in my motel room, because how often would I get to fuck someone who had guest-starred on ABC and NBC? She seemed really into the sex at first, but when it was my turn, she got skittish and said, "I'm late for a client in the Valley. She was trite and talked over me constantly. Trying to contain myself, I said, "That's cool." I beat the shit out of the same studio heads who used to reject me. Then she said, "Television destroys the soul. At lunch, she went on about her two-month cleanse, which was not in itself a deal breaker. Her smoking good looks were offset by a stale cloud of whiskey fumes. Lesbian friend looked achingly stylish as she handed her keys to the valet. I met her lesbian friend for lunch in WeHo.
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